Are You Dressing to Hide or to Express? (And How to Tell the Difference)

September 10 2025, 5 min reading time

A deeply personal reflection on how style can shift from a disguise to a form of expression. If you've ever used clothes to hide, or wondered how to use them to heal, this post is for you. Discover the signs you might be dressing to disappear, and how small changes can lead to big self-discoveries.

It’s taken me years to figure out who I am, and my style has changed a lot along the way. But what I’ve come to realize is this: my style has always told the story.

My clothes held my confusion, my hopes, and my fears. They protected and disguised me. Some days, they helped me feel powerful; other days, they felt like a costume I couldn’t wait to rip off. What I didn’t realize back then was how much my clothes were revealing, even when I thought I was hiding.

Style is a language. And if you listen closely, it’s always telling a story.
What’s yours saying?

Signs You Might Be Dressing to Hide

Let’s start by being clear: there is nothing wrong with dressing in ways that help you feel safe. If you're in a phase where your clothes bring comfort or act as a soft landing, this is a space of understanding. I was there for a long time.

But if you’re getting dressed on autopilot, reaching for those same comfort pieces every day, or finding yourself recycling outfits that no longer feel like you, you might be dressing to disappear.

Ask yourself:

• Have you put on an outfit that suddenly felt disconnected, like it belonged to an older version of you?

• Are you defaulting to black or neutrals, and not because you love them, but because they’re “easy”?

• Do you avoid mirrors (or check them obsessively for approval)?

• Do your clothes feel like they’re for someone else… maybe even a version of you you’ve outgrown?

For me, dressing to hide looked like wearing ultra-tight clothes and pushing my cleavage as high as I could. It looked like bright highlighter colors, copying my friends’ styles, or choosing outfits that would distract people from how I was actually feeling inside.

It took years to build the courage to explore a wardrobe that felt like me. But when I did? Everything changed. And I’m here to make sure it doesn’t take you nearly as long.

What Dressing to Express Can Look Like (Even in Small Ways)

Later in life, I used clothing as a way to speak before I even opened my mouth. Sometimes it was too loud. Sometimes it missed the mark. But eventually, I shifted from performing to expressing. From hiding to accepting. From surviving to living out loud.

Dressing to express isn’t about attention. It’s about intention.

That can look like:

• Choosing a color based on how you feel (or how you want to feel)

• Wearing something that reflects your values (like a thrifted or upcycled piece you love)

• Putting on something that brings you joy, even when you’re just staying home

• Letting your outfit reflect something you love (a texture, a pattern, a memory)

I still remember the first time I wore something bold that didn’t show skin. It was a wildly colorful, oddly shaped dress that I adored. It didn’t get many compliments. But I felt so good in it. And that, I learned, was enough.

How to Begin Shifting from Hiding to Expressing

If you’re ready to explore your style as a form of self-expression, but aren’t sure where to start, try one of these gentle shifts:

• Add one pop of color to your outfit this week.

• Ask: “What do I want to wear today?” Not what’s trendy. Not what’s safe. Just you.

• Create a Pinterest board or IG folder of outfits that spark joy, not just approval.

• Try a new silhouette, pattern, or accessory in a low-stakes setting (errands count!)

You don’t need a mohawk phase (Though, if that’s your vibe, I support it. Heck, I went through it!) You just need a moment of curiosity. That’s where confidence begins.

Final Thought

If you’re still in a place where clothes feel like a safety net, where you’re dressing to hide, that’s okay too. Truly. There’s no shame in that. Sometimes survival is style enough.

But this is your friendly reminder: You owe it to yourself to begin (or continue) the healing and growing process.

And your style can be a tangible, powerful way to start. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be a simple pop of color. A different fit. A pause in the mirror where you whisper, “Maybe I could like this.”

Your clothes can be the beginning of something bigger.

You don’t have to be fully healed to be seen.
You just have to be willing to try.

And trust me: there’s so much beauty in the trying.

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